One child wrote the following:

We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa.

They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Batemans Bay where everyone lives in nice little houses, and so they don’t have to mow the grass anymore!

They ride around on their bicycles and scooters and wear name tags because they don’t know who they are anymore.

They go to a building called a wreck center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now. They do exercises there, but they don’t do them very well.

There is a swimming pool too, but they all jump up and down in it with hats on.

At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it.

He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out, and go cruising in their golf carts!

Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And, they eat the same thing every night — early birds.

Some of the people can’t get out past the man in the doll house.

The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked center for pot luck.

My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too.

When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house.

Then I will let people out, so they can visit their grandchildren.

Since so many non-residents own property in Florida, it is not unusual to discover that some of these out of state owners list their Florida property for sale on eBay.

Often they list the property at a price based on what they paid for it (sometimes many years earlier), and as a result they undervalue the property.

For that reason, you can sometimes find excellent prices on Florida land, condos, and even waterfront property on eBay.

But before you get too excited, be aware that many of the vacant Florida lots found listed on eBay will be way over-priced. The prices might seem low, but the lots might be in areas with no utilities, miles from nowhere, or even non-buildable.

If you are considering buying a vacant lot in Florida, be sure that it is a buildable lot (with a letter from the county commission stating such), and that the lot has access to utilities, roads, etc.

A couple of additional questions to ask are it’s flood zone designation, and whether it is located in a scrub jay habitat.

With that in mind, here are some current real estate listings from eBay. Click on a listing to read full details.

Humidity is a factor, however, and it’s increased by the daily summer showers.

Florida can be a paradise in the winter months. Warm — well, warmer — than almost anywhere in the country. We get cold spells, but they rarely last more than a day or two as fronts move rapidly through the state. Occasionally, a week long spell will cause people to break out the winter wear.

But by and large, Florida is a place where your blue jeans and sweaters will see very little service.

Average Annual Temperatures:
Summer:
80.5 (F) degrees (26.9 C) (North Florida)
82.7 (F) degrees (28.2 C) (South Florida)

Winter:
53.0 (F) degrees (11.7 C) (North Florida)
68.5 (F) degrees (20.3 C) (South Florida)

Hurricanes
Yes, we get hurricanes, but not that many. Best location to avoid hurricanes — southwest Florida. The 2004 season was a statistical anomaly, major hurricanes rarely follow the path of Charley.

The hurricane season runs from June 1 through November 30.

Overall, the cost of living in Florida is lower than many locations in the US. Some things cost more, some cost less.

Here are a few specifics.

1. Real estate prices
   Since the real estate crash, Florida properties have become surprisingly affordable. In many areas, you can find 3bedroom, 2 bath homes with a pool for under $100,000. You can find older homes without pools for under $50,000.

   But prices are starting to move back up. And when the excess inventory is sold, expect prices to quickly jump in desirable neighborhoods and close to the water.  

2. Property taxes
   Not bad, especially when compared against most other states. And Florida has a homestead exemption that helps reduce the tax on your principal residence. 
3. Rental rates
   Renting a home or condo is among the best values in Florida right now. Many baby boomers have purchased homes in anticipation of retirement, but until that day arrives, the properties have been placed on the rental market.With so many homes available, rents are very competitive. Operating under the theory that some income is better than none, home owners often charge less for rent than their monthly mortgage payments. This creates an excellent opportunity for new residents to test drive an area before jumping into home ownership.
4. Insurance rates
   Not bad overall, but the hurricane season of 2004 is causing virtually all homeowners insurance companies to raise their rates and decline to renew many policies, especially those covering mobile homes.Auto insurance is still a bargain.
5. Food and drug taxes
   No tax on either food or drugs, with the exception of prepared foods. Buy a chicken at the market, no tax. Buy a fully cooked, grilled chicken at the market, and pay an extra 7% or so tax. 
6. Medical care
   The costs of medical care are about average, but during the snowbird season, their might be a wait to get to see a doctor. With such an overwhelmingly senior population, doctors, dentists, clinics, and hospitals routinely have more patients than they can handle.So get all your checkups before you move. And once you arrive, start shopping for new medical services as soon as possible. It can sometimes take months to get a new patient appointment. Many established doctors don’t even accept new patients, but will frequently refer you to a junior partner or associate.

Armed with a little knowledge about prevailing local conditions, your move to Florida can be relatively stress free.

According to a recently released survey by the National Association of Realtors, baby boomers are driving the vacation home market.

Here are a few hightlights of the study:

• The typical buyer is 55 years old, with a household income of $77,000
   
• 71% have no children under 18 living at home
   
• 86% do not rent out their vacation home
   
• 83% of the homes purchased were single family houses

In 2004, the most recent year for figures, 13% of all homes bought in the US were second homes. That is a 19% increase over 2003.

So the market for second homes, especially in warm weather areas or beach communities, is very competitive. The continued low interest rates make qualifying for a home loan easier than ever.

These two factors bear out the recent home buying climate in Florida.

This rule restricts remodeling a home in the flood plane to 50% of its current value (that’s the value of the house, exclusive of land).

If a home is worth $200,000 then up to $100,000 worth of work can be done. Now, for a lot of homes, that’s enough remodeling.

But for those homeowners who want more extensive work done, contractors have figured a couple of ways to deal with the restrictions.

1. Remodel in stages. Once the initial remodeling phase is complete, and the value of the home has increased, contractors begin a second phase.

2. Build at a higher elevation. A new wing can be built to code, that is, at the required elevation. The new wing would be exempted from the 50% restriction.

3. Bulldoze the home. Sad, but often done in areas where the land value is high and the home is small and old.

Be sure and check with your local real estate attorney, just in case this is not the official position held by FEMA.

Gators
If you live on fresh water, you will occasionally see alligators in Florida. Especially young ones.

After a gator grows to a certain size, it can be relocated to a more suitable habitat than your back yard or local golf course, by professionals with state permits. A good thing, as the occasional pet does fall victim if it gets too close to the water’s edge.

But it’s a rare event that a pet or human is bothered by an alligator. In fact, golfers just “play through” when they encounter the occasional gator on the golf course.

The best rule, and a state law, is “don’t feed the gators,” as they will learn to associate humans with food. A gator does not know the difference between a fried chicken leg and a human leg, except that the human leg is a lot bigger, of course.

If you *want* to see alligators, take the trip across Alligator Alley, which runs for 90 miles between Naples on the west coast and Fort Lauderdale on the east coast.

The Alley is a divided highway lined with fencing. On the other side of the fences are drainage canals full of — you guessed it — alligators! Big ones, too.

There are a couple of places to stop and admire the scenery from boardwalks built out into the River of Grass. But no gas stations, convenience stores, or restaurants.

So top off the tank before you go, and pack a lunch if you tend to get low blood sugar. Oh, and make sure your cell phone has a good charge.

Mosquitos
The most common menace in Florida is the mosquito. That’s why virtually every home in the state has an outdoor room call a lanai, which is a screened in enclosure designed to keep out the mosquitos.

Pools are generally located inside the lanai, except on the east coast’s Atlantic beaches, where the strong ocean breezes keep the mosquitos inland.

While mosquitos are generally less prevalent along the beaches, they are more prevalent in tidal areas with mangroves and other low growing plant life. And especially bothersome around landlocked lakes and ponds with little water movement.

During the height of the summer, many communities spray for mosquitos, a helpful practice. And lots of lakes and ponds have fountains or recirculating pumps that keep the water moving and the mosquitos away.

Swamp Thing
Yes, the original Swamp Thing was filmed in Florida. But Swamp Thing is not a real being, only a fictional character on a 90s TV show.

Swamp Thing is not to be confused with the Florida Skunk Ape, mythical resident of the state’s vast Everglades region. The Skunk Ape is more like a cousin to Bigfoot and the Yeti.

Actually, Florida has quite an active filming schedule and it’s fairly easy to get on as an extra. Movies and TV series that need tropical settings or beach scenes frequently set up operations for weeks at a time.

A good agent will provide you a short list of local contacts, while not officially endorsing any particular one.

Whether financing or refinancing, a good relationship with a mortgage lender is important in Florida’s fast moving real estate market. Many people trade up, down, or across within a year or two of moving here, an activity where a call to your mortgage broker is a good first step.

National lenders doing business in Florida
There are quite a few, but perhaps the most well know are:

• Countrywide
• Bank of America
• Wells Fargo

Also worth checking are larger banks like Sun Trust. These regional or local banks will sometimes keep short term ARM loans in-house, and resell long term loans to — you guessed it — national lenders like Countrywide.

Mortgage brokers are also an option, but be sure to do your homework and shop around before you commit.

In Florida, Arizona, and Maine, where snowbirds tend to congregate, companies like Home Depot are taking advantage of their reliability and superior work ethic to fill positions. They even offer some seniors “snowbird specials” so they can work in Florida in the winter and Maine in the summer.

Where else can seniors find jobs? Bookstore chains like Borders, big box stores like WalMart, drug stores like Walgreens and even insurance companies like MetLife are actively recruiting the over 50 crowd for part time or full time work.

In addition to a little extra money and the stimulation of staying busy, a major draw for aging workers is full benefits. Insurance costs can weigh heavily on retirement income and free insurance is a welcome blessing to many.

To learn more, visit AARP’s Career Center and click on What Is a Featured Employer?

The Tax Foundation ranks Florida among the very lowest tax states, based on income, property and other state and local taxes. (Florida falls at 45 among the 50 states for 2004; only five other states have a lower tax burden).

State Sales Tax – 6%

Corporate Tax – 5.5%

State Income Tax – None
Property Taxes
Property taxes are levied by the counties, and as real estate prices have soared, these taxes have increased.

However, property owners can gain a homestead tax exemption for their primary residence, and additional exemptions are available to homeowners age 65 and over.